Part One: Intimacy With God
At the foundation of your discipleship is your worship.
Worship is essentially the heart’s desire purpose and delight. You will be hard-pressed to become a faithful disciple of Jesus without delighting in him and having your purpose defined by him. Without that you become more like a disgruntled employee trying to complete tasks to make you boss happy, a student getting homework done to silence her teacher, or a child doing chores just to get his parents off his back. But a discipleship that’s borne out of delight? That’s a discipleship that lasts. It’s a discipleship with a strong foundation and the resources to grow.
One of the things we emphasize at New Springs is having consistent, robust, personal worship. This is worship that isn’t dictated by anyone else - it’s just you and Jesus. Imagine trying to have an authentic relationship with someone you’ve only heard about through a third party… The relationship is not real and has zero depth to it until you encounter that person for yourself. Many people simply encounter Jesus on Sunday through a church service or instruction from a parent, but until Jesus is a person that you have a relationship with your faith will be minimal.
What does a personal relationship with Jesus look like? I believe it looks a lot like a close relationship you would have with anyone else. Close relationships thrive on a variety of communication - the most important aspect of growing and deepening.
1. Brief, Consistent Conversation
On most days my wife and I just don’t have the time to have long drawn out conversations. We have young kids who require a lot of attention and we both work full-time. Most of the hours of a given week find us in different places doing different things. Because of this, we’re limited to shorter text conversations or brief phone calls in-between breaks. These conversations aren’t going to accomplish much in terms of future planning, diving deep into our emotions, or resolving conflicts, but they are nonetheless vital to our relationship. By keeping in contact with my wife throughout the day, she is with me even when she isn’t physically present and vice-versa.
Paul, in 1 Thessalonians 5, charges each of us to pray “without ceasing.” Maybe your concept of praying without ceasing is an 18th century Puritan on his knees for hours. You look at it as a great idea but entirely impractical. Praying without ceasing often looks a lot like those short text conversations with a spouse or a friend. It’s those brief moments in which you ask God to be honored in your speech before you make a phone call. It’s the quiet prayers as you drive to work and the small request for more strength as you hit that afternoon wall in your work day. Here’s the reality: If you solely approach prayer as a long and drawn out event you will simply avoid it altogether. Rather, start your communication with God in those smaller, quiet moments of your day.
2. Longer, Regular Conversation
In addition to text messaging, my wife and I know that we will typically have a longer stretch of time to talk right after work, during dinner (if the kids allow us), and right after the kids go to bed. It’s part of our regular, daily rhythm that we can think ahead about more detailed things that we want to share with one another. These moments are vital to our relationship as well.
What is the rhythm of your day like? Maybe your schedule affords you longer moments of solitude at lunch, in the car line picking your kids up, in the shower at night, or early in the morning before everyone else gets up. Maybe you’re so busy your only alone time is brief two-minute stretches when you get to go to the bathroom. The point is that you likely have a general rhythm to your days and weeks. Think strategically about that. Prayerfulness doesn’t happen accidentally, rather, you should make a conscious effort to plan ahead and spend some time talking to God in the quiet, longer moments of your day that you know will have some level of consistency.
3. Scheduled Intimacy
If I’m honest, marriage is such that not every week, day, or moment is filled with heightened emotion or joy. The day to day grind can flood a relationship with monotony. Kids, as much of a blessing as they are, can hog all of your energy and attention to where you don’t have much left to offer your spouse. Add to that the fact that there will inevitably be conflict from time to time - extended periods in which you are upset with each other.
This is an emotion that you can sense pretty clearly. One option is to be passive. Simply hold your emotions in, let time pass, and wait for things to naturally improve. The trouble is, there is no guarantee that it will if passivity is your approach. Instead, my wife and I try to schedule environments where we know intimacy is likely to thrive. That may be a scheduled date night. One of our parents watch the kids and we get to go out for a nice dinner and drinks at a place that we enjoy so we can simply enjoy one another’s company. This may even be a small overnight vacation to somewhere not too far from our home and not too long where we just end up missing the kids more than enjoying each other.
Maybe scheduled intimacy with God seems strange to you, but it actually follows the example set by Jesus. In Luke 5, for example, we are told that Jesus regularly went away to “desolate places” to pray. Why “desolate places”? Because it was an environment in which Jesus could block out distractions and dial into his relationship with the Father. We all have environments that foster greater intimacy with God. Maybe it’s walking a park trail for you and talking to God as you walk. Maybe it’s a car ride down by the beach. Maybe it’s sitting in the backyard with good music. I’ve even known a pastor who would take walks through the local graveyard because of the way it reminded him of the brevity of life and God’s goodness to him.
Whatever the environment is that most naturally draws you into the transcendent - into a greater awareness of spiritual things - recreate that experience as often as you can. You need to be reminded often that God is good. Scheduled intimacy is great pathway to that.
All in all, discipleship begins with your personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Like any other relationship, regular conversation is essential. Take the time to “taste and see the Lord is good” and you won’t be disappointed at the improvement you experience in your relationship with God.